RESUMING ROTARY after our Christmas Break - 10 January 2002

Before I begin this report, I should tell you that I am feeling the hot breath of competition for this much-sought-after Editorship.  RUDY ALVAREZ very kindly stepped forward in my place for the meeting of December  20th - and his report was EXCELLENT!
Not only was the full program reported, but there were asides and comments which greatly enhanced his telling of the event itself - I was really impressed.   However, it may be that when he learns the full extent of the benefits provided by being Editor, he may pull back, or even withdraw from this contest - stay tuned…

PP DAVE WHITEHEAD strode bravely forward to lead the Pledge.  Next up was LENNY FRIEDMAN, with GREGG ELLIOTT at the piano, as we sang God Bless America.  Now, I don't want this to be taken personally, but some of us have 'key' problems with songs, and YOE felt this one was too low.  I am bracing myself for a flood of outraged calls, suggesting obvious bias relating to my manhood, or my tin ear - but in the continued pursuit of absolutely accurate journalistic reporting I nonetheless place this 'key' item on the agenda for discussion, come what may!  

PP BOB WESSLING gave an excellent Invocation, asking for guidance to our leaders in the world and in Rotary as we begin this New Year of 2002.  Our guest from Rotary was Miles Pritchard, from the Santa Monica Club.  There were two Special Guests - PP HOMER NEWMAN introduced Lillian Kliever, who is with Prudential Realty, and PP BOB LUSK again brought Michael Gintz, Manager of the Westwood City National Bank
Let's hear it for these two guys - HOMER and BOB are bringing in live prospects, and we should all be following their example, OK?   And while on the subject of membership, we have just recently lost three members - JIM GREATHEAD, of course, plus RALEIGH SHAO is moving out of the area, and NEAL ZASLAVSKY has resigned.  

Apropos of nothing else, here's a Patriotic Tip:
If you have been displaying the flag since the 9/11 tragedy, and perhaps are wondering how long to continue the display - how about doing it only on the 11th of EACH month?
Three Announcements:
1. Next week - the 17th - the speaker will be Gil Cates.  Note that he has produced the Academy Awards TEN TIMES out of the last twelve shows!  That record alone makes him someone you will want to hear - and your guests would also be interested.
     Second reason to hear Cates - can you imagine working with some of those
      prima donnas TEN times?  This guy must be Teflon coated  - the Q&A alone is
      something not to miss.  Mark your calendar, for sure.
2. February 11th is the Valentine's Brunch - that's a Saturday, at the Beau Rivage in
      Malibu. It will remind you of Rick's' Bar in Casablanca - Again, Be There!
3.    MARK BLOCK has assumed the Chair of International Service - Thanks, Mark.
And, in a lovely gesture, MADELYN FIRSCHMANN has donated one hundred dollars each to the Westwood Village Rotary Foundation in memory of OPAL DESCH and JIM GREATHEAD.

Pres GEORGE then asked PP MICHAEL NEWMAN if he had made any New Year's Resolutions, but MIKE replied that he couldn't find his glasses so he really didn't know.
This confession prompted PP JIM COLLINS to admit that his Resolution was to learn to use his computer (which is something several of us should also attempt).  This led to the appearance of RUDY ALVAREZ, who reminisced about where Hump Day came from.
YOE has to remind all that in an earlier eon, he, as then-Rotary President, was not subjected to Hump Day - but sometime later, apparently a need became apparent to mark the midpoint of each President's term.  There is some dispute as to when this need surfaced, but suffice it to say that the 'event' has been around for awhile.

JANICE next spoke, with some thoughts on how GOERGE'S year has gone.  He has felt that he sometimes doesn't get a chance to eat - so he was then served TWO hamburgers, with TWO malts (and maybe some fries - couldn't see from where I sat).  JANICE then commented that she was looking forward to the next six months - as we all are.  Thanks, JANICE, for your nice input.

MARK BLOCK came forward, suggesting that perhaps Pres GEORGE would soon need some legal help, and HOYER the LAWYER was designated.  This need had to do with the issuance of the famed Dea Dollars, which qualified Pres GEORGE as a Counterfeiter!  At the same time, MARK kept referring to today's event as Hemp Day - maybe that is correct, after all. YOE is not sure how this particular problem was resolved  -  but an editorial opinion is now called for.  I LIKE the Dea Dollar idea - it's new, useful, and creative - what more could we ask?

PP ERIC LOBERG felt compelled to explore the genesis of Hump Day - and with ERIC, any subject can be risky if you worry about political or any other kind of correctness.
ERIC did pose some questions, ending with the decision that he and Mary would now go back to the Missionary Position!  That being said, he then had a string of one-liners, all of which were not only funny, but well below the imaginary line he has been known to cross upon occasion. A specific example of one of his questions - Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?  While YOE hasn't recently considered this, it does appear to be a questionable activity… He concluded with the admonition that a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory…

PP TOM LENEHEN had framed a series of questions for Pres. GEORGE, and TOM asked ANN SAMSON to assist in the interrogation.  TOM started by nominating Pres. GEORGE for Sainthood, (anonymous question from the audience - "Which George?") and he went on to describe why GEORGE qualified.  For one specific example, TOM reported that the Vocational Service Committee had completed a project!  Nuff said here…As further evidence, it was pointed out that GEORGE had negotiated with the Bel Air Hotel and specified that we would have no more than forty chicken lunches EACH year.  GEORGE'S birth in Hong Kong was noted, plus, by his own admission, when he arrived in the Bay Area, he had no education!  Asked by ANN what the percentage of students who graduate from the UCLA School of Film and TV and then actually work in the industry was, he confessed that about one in five end up in the field.  There was some further interrogation regarding restaurants, etc. - but none of these penetrating inquiries were able to upset GEORGE'S savoir fare. He survived intact.

PP MIKE NEWMAN was the final commentator.  He began by noting what some recent Presidents had gone through during Hump Day.  He noted some other history, including the $120K that we raised in support of Polio Plus - this was over forty thousand dollars above the goal suggested for our club by RI, and it all was because of the efforts of PP HOWIE HENKES.  MIKE recalled the memorable performance of former member LEE WALKER as a walk-on gardner outside the plate glass window behind the head table - if you were there, you'd remember!  He attempted, without clear success, to wring a commitment out of PP JIM DOWNIE to once again handle the forthcoming Demotion - but YOE suspects that once the bell sounds, old instincts will take over and JIM will be at it once again - we certainly hope so. We learned that Pres. GEORGE was born in the Year of the Snake, which of course occurs every twelve years in the Chinese Calendar.
MIKE summed up his remarks by noting all the excellent accomplishments CEORGE had achieved BEFORE he became President, and concluded by noting, "We're damn glad you're here!"

Hump Day Chair RUDY ALVAREZ seconded that sentiment - and YOE would like to add that having GEORGE DEA as our President is an honor that we all are pleased to share.  It's all downhill from here!

YOE, Ernie Wolfe