January 6th at WVRC - The New Year Begins!
STEW GILMAN was dragooned into leading the Pledge, which he accomplished even though there was no flag to salute! After an aborted attempt to sing the SC Fight Song, LENNY FRIEDMAN did redirect us into America, which was probably safer territory.
JACK HARRIS was at the keyboard, and while tuneful, the pace was a bit slow but we got it done, anyway. PP STEVE SCHERER gave a brief Invocation, welcoming the New Year.
ED GAULD failed to report any Visiting Rotarians, but SOL DRESNER brought along his son-in-law, Sheldon Kabaker, M.D. PDG ANDY ANDERSON provided an enticing outline of the next Auxiliary Meeting, which will be at the WESSLINGS, Tuesday the 11th, starting at 11:30. The Speaker will be our own PP JIM COLLINS, his subject being My Life With the Colonel . In that regard, have you noticed that those stores are no longer referred to as Kentucky Fried Chicken, but as KFC ah, there legal matters… Anyway, members and spouses are invited, but do let JUDY WESSLING know your plans, OK?
Here’s your chance to have all your meals with fellow Rotarians on that same 11th of January! The District Breakfast is at the LAX Marriott starting at 0715, and the Speaker will be Victor Walsh. Vic was President of LA 5 when our Incoming President DON NELSON was there as Treasurer, and DON assures us that it will be an excellent program Vic is a stand-up comedian, and shouldn’t be missed. Let DON know if you will attend.
And that evening, at 6:30, the WVRC Board of Directors will meet at Mary & Robb’s Restaurant on Westwood Blvd just north of Ohio. CATHY REZOS is the host, so please let her know if you will attend. And while she was up there, CATHY passed out Santa Caps to the special people who helped her with the Holiday Extravaganza PP RON LYSTER, MIKE GINTZ, PP JIM DOWNIE, and that fabulous Santa, PP ERIC LOBERG. She reminded us all that Community Service is a not an obligation, but an opportunity.
When asked, MIKE YOUSEM agreed to speak. He read a letter from the Salvation Army Transitional Village, thanking all those who participated in the Christmas Shopping Spree it really did make a difference to those kids, and they wanted to be sure we knew how much it was appreciated. Rudy’s World was next, and it produced a plethora (that means a LOT) of suspects. Among those fingered were PP TED IHNEN (who, even with the help of a whispering KACY ROZELLE, couldn’t identify the subject), PP BOB LUSK (and here, we need a pro-bono legal opinion as to whether or not you can legally fine an Honorary Member), ED JACKSON, and finally, SEAN McMILLAN. After a labyrinth series of pass-offs, the two culprits proved to be none other than SEAN, plus, somehow, Senor RUDY, each of whom was docked for twenty bucks! I should add that if this exchange was billed on an hourly basis, they got off with a bargain fine, perhaps.
Birthdays were next. First up was SANDY SANDERSON, who arrived in San Antonio on the 2nd same birthplace as Senor RUDY, by the way. DOROTHY FERGUS was next, on the 7th in Louisville, (pronounced, of course, Lullville) which is in Kentucky. HARLAN LEWIS choose the next day, coming from Redlands. PP RON LYSTER liked Whittier, also on the 8th, while BOB LUSK came back to Los Angeles, on the 10th. BOB FLICK liked Buffalo, on the 21st, while the 26th appealed to DENNIS CORNWELL, in St. Johns (and that is Michigan, of course). BRIAN BUMPAS came along on the next day, in good ol’ LA, while LILLIAN KLIEWER ended this litany on the 28th in New York City. And in answer to a question from the raucous audience, DOROTY FERGUS is the widow of BOB, who was known to all our more senior members.
Senor RUDY called forward members who had been particularly helpful to him, presenting them with special blue Rotary shirts. They included RALPH BEASOM, for managing the check-in process, FLOYD DEWHIRST for paying for the Christmas Shopping Spree bus, PP JIM DOWNIE for his never-ending care of the mikes and sound equipment, PP HOWIE HENKES for managing the Braille luncheon, PP RON LYSTER, PP DAVE WHITEHEAD, and MIKE YOUSEM.
PP STEVE SCHERER presented a Shakespearean sonnet, admitting that it had nothing to do with Investment Advisors Day but it sounded downright good, anyway. His initial Panel included LEE DUNAYER, DICK ROBINSON, LEO TSENG and SHAWN WAARBROEK, with CHRIS BRADFORD being summoned forward to clarify what appeared to be a cloudy crystal ball. (We were assured that things would be clearer by the 20th of January so stay tuned)
At this point, CHRIS introduced the REAL Panel, who came onstage from the anteroom. Turns out they were all former students of Professor ALVAREZ, and ALL had PhD’s in Sociology, plus and this is perhaps their most important qualification they have all made it “over the hump” today. They displaced the original panelists, and each then gave his or her pitch on the state of things as they are, or maybe, were. Dr. WAARBROEK (identified necessarily, since being homeless, he HAD no name) was up first, and spoke eloquently on the Need for Change, as promulgated by Professor ALVAREZ. His touching presentation was augmented by occasional slugs from his bottle of Johnny Walker Black (and you may not be aware that their Black is twelve years old, which YOE mentions in the interest of honest and complete journalism, that being our major thrust at all times).
Along came M.Stewart Lay, (also known as MIKE GINTZ), who acknowledged that the main thing he learned under Professor ALVAREZ was how to dress. M. Stewart then made the unfortunate decision to show us what he learned that being a polo shirt and sandals. Eugenia You-sue-em (LILLIAN KLIEWER) limped in on crutches, the result of some sort of auto accident, apparently. This event occurred somewhere on Sunset Blvd, designated by Professor ALVAREZ as the chosen site for a road race. Apparently, Ms Eugenia was sideswiped during the race by a hot red corvette, driven by you-know-who.
This collision made the 6 pm news, and to quote, “and it’s a miracle the driver of the mangled car made it out alive”. Moderator CHRIS expressed his thankfulness for her survival, then asking if she would make a full recovery. Ms Eugenia pointed out that Professor ALVAREZ had made a lot of money from his best selling book, “Discrimination in Organizations” and that, plus his hefty insurance coverage, caused her to believe that she would be amply compensated. Incidentally, after being unable to find employment upon the completion of her studies with Professor ALVAREZ, our heroine became a lawyer, dedicating herself to “suing the pants off people”. Yes, just one more testimonial to the value of higher education…
This was a tough act to follow, but it was ably undertaken by Rumsford Rodolfo, sometimes known as PP MIKE NEWMAN. Rumsford, who is a tenured Professor at Chico State, first pointed out that he had adopted the grading practices of Professor ALVAREZ. This meant that your grade was based on your ability to party. Rumsford did recall the names of some of the courses he enjoyed under the aforementioned ALVAREZ “How to Apply to Yale”, “How to Join their Secret Society” (which, it hardly needs mentioning, was successfully negotiated by our two most recent Presidential Candidates). Rumsford, unfortunate to report, found the ALVAREZ lectures boring, since they were totally disorganized but they did teach a lot about life (so there!). Professor ALVAREZ association with the ACLU taught Rumsford to be to the right of right at all times. He concluded by reminding us of the recent General Motors publication, “Racing With Rudy” saying it was a good read.
There were, more or less, some Q&A’s. CHRIS BRADFORD asked something about Rudy’s World, while YOE wanted to know if any of the panelists could give him the time of day (it was 1:14). PP STEVE SCHERER advocated admitting 5% of something to something. LILLIAN KLIEWER (and YOE is forced to ask if it is legal for panelists to also ask questions) had something to say about Discrimination in Organizations, concluding that it seemed practical to mix truth with untruth. The date of January 20th resurfaced, and we were assured that the scheduled Advisors Day would indeed occur on that date. We learned that the latest speed record achieved by a certain red Corvette was now moved up to 163 mph. PP DAVE WHITEHEAD and ED GAULD combined to admit that they avoided Sociology while sojourning in college, and asked what Sociology is about. Replied Professor ALVAREZ, “I don’t know, but it pays well”.
CATHY REZOS reminded us of the requirement for a meeting-ending toast, which PP GEORGE DEA provided “Here’s to USC”.
And I know you are all anticipating next week’s (January 13th) Club Assembly, at which the sole subject will be, “What the devil SHOULD be included in the Windmill?